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Codependency For Dummies, by Darlene Lancer
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Your trusted guide to value yourself and break the patterns of codependency
Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. Written in plain English and packed with sensitive, authoritative information, it describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. New to this edition are chapters on working the Twelve Steps to recover from codependency and how therapists/coaches/nurses are affected by codependency.
Codependence is primarily a learned behavior from our family of origin. Some cultures have it to a greater degree than others—some still see it as a normal way of living. Yet the costs of codependence can include distrust, faulty expectations, passive-aggressiveness, control, self-neglect, over-focus on others, manipulation, intimacy issues, and a slew of other harmful traits. Codependence causes serious pain and affects the majority of Americans—not just women and loved ones of addicts. Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers authoritative and trusted guidance on ways to raise your self-esteem, detach and let go, set boundaries, recognize healthy vs. dysfunctional relationships, overcome guilt and resentment, and much more.
- Helps you break the pattern of conduct that keeps you in harmful relationships
- Provides trusted guidance to create healthy boundaries, coping skills, and expectations
- Offers advice for eliminating feelings of guilt, blame, and feeling overly responsible
- Explains the difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking
If you're trapped in the cycle of codependency and looking for help, Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers trusted advice and a clear plan for recovery.
- Sales Rank: #18967 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-23
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.30" h x .72" w x 7.40" l, 1.47 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 360 pages
From the Back Cover
Learn to:
- Recognize the signs of codependency
- Stop controlling others and start caring for yourself
- Love yourself and develop healthy relationships
- Become more assertive and build your self-esteem
Your trusted guide to breaking the patterns of codependency
Are you trapped in the cycle of codependency? You're not alone. In this trusted and sensitive guide, you'll discover the symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency—and how you can set yourself on a clear path to recovery. There's no time like the present to break the patterns of codependency and get your life back.
- Discover the hallmarks of codependency and recovery — get to know what codependency is, the stages of codependency and recovery, and the four basic steps to breaking the cycle and starting your recovery
- Make a breakthrough — figure out what made you codependent, heal your wounds, and work on building authentic self-esteem and self-love
- Heal your relationship with others — learn how to let go, set boundaries, accept reality, communicate effectively, handle conflict, and deal with push-back
- Uncover strategies that support your healing — find out how to move on and maintain recovery, follow your bliss, get help when you need it, and successfully work the Twelve Steps
- Learn to love yourself — discover ways to love yourself and make the most of practical daily reminders to stay on course and put yourself first
Open the book and find:
- Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency
- The stages of codependency and recovery
- How codependency affects your relationships
- Forms of denial about your own and others' behaviors or addictions
- Places to seek help and support
- How to build self-awareness and find your authentic self
- Advice on speaking up and setting boundaries
About the Author
Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationships and codependency. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally. She's a sought-after speaker to professionals at national conferences and in the media.
Most helpful customer reviews
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful.
Codependents guide to dealing with life.
By jormi
This is one of the most profound books I have found in dealing with codependency. Darlene uses so many great life experiences to teach us. If you are an individual who is recovering from codependency or a victim of behavior of a codependent you seriously need to buy this book. There is great insight on how to deal with these issues. Darlene opens up many doors that to me were sealed shut. I have learned to address so many things that I was not even aware of that constituted behavior of codependency. As a codependent whom is still in the recovery process I urge you to buy this book. It is probably the best investment in your future out there. Thank You Darlene for your hard work and effort and sharing your life experiences to help benefit all of those who still suffer with codependency.
Sincerely,
jormi
30 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for anybody interested in really understanding the source of relationship problems.
By C. Rooney
I bought the first edition of this book about 8 months ago and worked my way through the text and exercises. Darlene clearly knows what she is talking about. She speaks with a voice of authority as one who is well versed in the field and also with the voice of compassion as one who has surmounted her own challenges. I feel this book should be recommended reading for anybody who wishes to improve their relationships, most importantly the relationship with oneself. It has been the catalyst for some serious breakthroughs in awareness for me personally and it is slowly but surely changing the way I relate to others . I now have a clearer grasp of the concept of interpersonal boundaries and the difference between boundaries and barriers. I no longer am the dumping ground of the universe for other peoples dramas, traumas and unresolved projections. I am taking more time to focus on my needs, wants and desires. I no longer feel I have to jump right in and fix the problems of the world while simultaneously abandoning myself. Did it happen over night? No. Do I slip up from time to time? Yes. However I am catching myself out with these old behaviours more quickly . Do however be warned! When you are no longer the door mat of the universe many people around you will not like it and you have to hold firm in your resolve to claim, own and acknowledge your right to be a sovereign being. You are no longer a slave to another persons reality and you can start living your own life.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Everybody I know can benefit from Codependency for Dummies
By Mary Lou Cheatham, Author, The Dream Bucket
Codependency for Dummies. I am surprised to be the first person reviewing this book. It is fascinating, the kind of book that is difficult to close once it is opened. I enjoyed taking the two tests in Chapter 4, but I was disappointed that no criteria accompanied the second test in order for the reader/test-taker to determine whether he was codependent.
According to the standards in Codependency for Dummies, most of the people I know are codependent to one extent or another,and most of us need to work on our codependency. The rest of us have close acquaintances who need help in this area.
The concluding paragraph in the book is "Don't Isolate" -- what useful advice! Yet we live in an isolated world. Up and down the street are single people -- some retired or working at home alone -- some without any companionship, not even a dog. Isolation is a way of life. Much of the time in our education system and in work environments we are in a society of isolation.
I agree with much of what Darlene Lancer, licensed marriage and family therapist, has to say. We really need to work on our codependence and move out of the mire of low self-esteem. I do not, however, agree with her philosophy about spirituality. She states, "Whether or not you believe in God, a spiritual practice is an excellent means of creating a deeper relationship with our Self."
The book is well organized. The Dummies approach is a good method of presenting this thorough manual of examining relationships.
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